A Limerick History of My Queer Flirtations

There once was a girl named Casey,
Together we’d get rather spacey.
She was a bit of a prude,
I didn’t want to be rude.
So I went off to find someone racy.

I once pulled my head from the noose,
Of a boy who admitted abuse.
We flirted at work,
But he was a jerk.
Some people you just have to lose.

There once was a girl named Heather,
Who liked to bind me in leather.
She had one little date,
BOOM: married, gone straight.
And I floated away like a feather.

For Relja I changed my whole world,
Into his insatiable ego I curled.
A phenomenal flirt,
But to him I was dirt.
Only with time has my torn heart unfurled.

I fell in love with a woman named Tori,
Whose banter hit new heights of glory.
And while she isn’t gay,
We’re still friends today.
Although that is a whole different story.

I fell fast in love with a Thomas,
We’d flirt in dimensions beyond us.
It was a 3-day first date,
And he wanted a mate.
But for me that was too big a promise.

Sometimes my co-workers snipe,
Could this be a legitimate gripe?
I can still flirt with splendor—
Just because I have no gender—
Does not mean that I don’t have a type.